How To Restart Your Relationship

For_how_to_re-start_your_relationship600One of the questions I frequently get asked by my clients, (married or single) is how to reconcile or get back together after a separation, break up, or a big blow up. They also want to know if it’s possible for a relationship to work the second time around. Besides the two of you, there are two other things to consider:

1.  Taking It Slow

When you are first getting back together, it makes sense to take the relationship slow. When you broke up, one or both of you were willing to walk away from the relationship. This may have resulted in bruised egos and wounded hearts. Although it is understandable to be thrilled that you are reunited, don’t minimize the hurt of the break up by acting like nothing happened. If you are still so angry that every conversation turns into the blame game and you are keeping score of who hurt the other more, you are not ready to reconcile.

Getting back together has a better chance of working when both parties are willing to talk and willing to accept some responsibility for the demise of the relationship. The road back to a renewed relationship will take time, patience, understanding, and commitment. Having a break up and getting back together too quickly can contribute to a continuing chaotic relationship. Read more

Ideal Life meets Ideal Relationship

Ideal_Life_meets_Ideal_Relationship600We are compelled to seek relationships with others, it a natural instinct. However, we are also driven to know ourselves as individuals. This can create a tug-of-war, the yin and yang of coming together and needing to follow your personal path. Healthy couples have the ability to do this, it becomes a dance. It comes from knowing yourself and respecting your wants and needs and aspirations and respecting those same needs of your partner. Encouraging our partner’s growth is critical, even if what he or she is striving to do does not include us, trusting him or her to follow their dreams reinforces within the relationship that each partner can have what they want; a relationship and their own self.

When faced with change it may not feel as though you have any options, things may feel out of your control, you may become immobilized and overwhelmed as it feels like there are too many details and decisions that need to be made. A sense of urgency prevails. Read more

How To Get A Great Date

How_to_get_a_great_Date600If you are newly single, or have decided you would like to meet someone who you can share time with or even spend the rest of your life with it will entail dating. Many people find the idea of dating exciting and daunting at the same time. Regardless of age or previous relationship experiences, getting the support of a counselor or coach can help you move past dreading the experience to looking forward to the possibility of welcoming your ideal partner into your life. There are so many options for meeting people at this time, from online dating, utilizing a matchmaker, attending social or recreational events geared to bringing like-minded people together, volunteering, speed dating, meeting people through friends, networking events; the options are numerous. Read more